"I think it's just a nasty bruise," Guildenstern says, a little breathless from the pain and the cold and the chafing clothes and the cracking mud, and the clarity of mind brought about by the combination of all these things. He feels rooted to his body in a way that he hasn't since—since—

"Where is Polonius?" Claudius demanded. Hamlet crossed his arms. "In heaven, send hither to see. If your messenger find him not there, seek him in the other place yourself." Good thing Claudius' favorite messengers are on the case! [Gen Freeform 2022 gift for marginaliana.]

You're robots—you're the opposite of people. [Fic in a Box 2021 gift for mixtapestar.]

The daring duo attempt to evade the English executioners. Will they succeed? Will they fail? The two danish nobles must plumb every ounce of bravery and cunning they have if they have any hope of returning to Denmark.

"The trees just stood there. They were like guards, really. They just stood there and guarded their land. Like soldiers, except soldiers weren't made of wood and bark." Just some good ol' Ros and Guil stupidity.

My take on the unwritten death scene of our protagonists. Guil: What are you looking at? Ros: Nothing. Guil: What do you mean 'nothing' Ros: I can't see anything. Guil: Then why are you looking? Ros: I forget.

A man on a boat contemplates. Drabble involving Ros or Guil, take your pick.

... is where the heart is

"Always," Guildenstern provided after a moment's thought. "Yes," said Rosencrantz. "I will always feel this way. About you, I mean." Guildenstern/Rosencrantz oneshot.

"It occurred to him that he and his friend may just have decided to sleep on the floor because they were too tired to find a decent bedroom." Slash, existential smut.

If you had a choice, how would you choose to die?

When you've been attacked by pirates, beheaded and stranded in a nowhere place in nowhere land, of course the most important thing is to establish the exact nature of your relationship.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. The coin falls tails. Change.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. I'm not the only one to see a certain similarity between Rosencrantz's 'life in a box' speech and that well-known thought experiment involving extreme cruelty to cats, right? Drabble